My first day back in Saint John was quite full. My flight arrived at midnight, and I went to bed around 2am, woke up at 7:30, then procrastinated for a while before showering...I ended up out in Mom's yard taking pictures of everything in sight. Nature! Her gardens & flowerbeds! hehe... Mom & I eventually went out shopping for vegetables & fruit, then met Cindy back at Mom's place at about 1pm.

I've got news! Cindy's pregnant again! So cool...she wanted it to be my surprise when I got home :> She's at 3 months now and she's already popped out. It's harder to keep it secret the 2nd time around, but easy to keep it from me since I couldn't see her from Beijing, lol!

So Cindy, Mom & I went to the Jade City Restaurant for lunch...yum, spicy Chinese veggies, wheeee! Then Cindy & I took off for SJB/KE for a quick visit after that. They were really excited to see us both, especially since the two of us have now resigned our jobs. I got to play with Matthew for a while, see Rose (she’s skinnier than ever!), and wish Mr. McC a happy retirement. Cindy & I will go back another day this week before school ends though, so I hope to have more time to visit with all the kids...we had arrived just in time to see most of them of to their buses, oops.

We left the school after about an hour & a half, then went back to my mom's, but Cindy & I sat in the driveway and talked for a while. And when I eventually wandered inside, Chester was there playing crib with Mom. Of course he was getting his arse kicked, all the while I ate two containers of strawberries and watched the carnage. Not Mom's strawberries (they're not in season yet), but not bad. :)

I tried my best to stay awake, but nope, eventually crashed and fell asleep for 3 hours...I had set the alarm on my phone, but of course it didn't go off because the darn thing was still set to China time, lol...silly Kirstens need the most love!

I woke up and realized I needed to do something physical or else I'd be awake all night, so I went for an hour's walk around my mom's place. It was so beautiful & breezy. The sky was blue, streaked with wispy clouds, with a little sliver of the moon starting to come out. Watching the sunset as I walked was so nice. The orange sky of the sun mixing with the blue, then turning pink as it went further down was special to see. And the air! Breezy cool coming from the water down by St.'s Rest Beach, so it smelled like a mixture of the sea and the marsh moss :) And the birds were chirping, and I could hear the squirrels chattering in the bushes... I never knew I could appreciate such a simple walk, and I'm sad that I will probably eventually take it for granted. It's inevitable when you're anywhere for any length of time :(

Now we're in for the night, and I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. I hope to wake up early and go for a walk, just like Dad & I do in Tuanli (except a little later than 3am! lol)...but after that I'm just going to wing it. I have two months, so I want to try and enjoy the little moments...going for groceries, walking around the city, seeing people as I go. I don't want to be so busy that I forget this time home. I've felt like the last few months in China have been so hectic that I'm forgetting all those special times that made me smile. Working with "the babies" has made me forget those good moments, and see so much of the not-so-good, so I will not let that define me from now on. I will remember and feel fortunate, just like my tattoos say, and be grateful for every second from here to whenever.

As I was saying goodbye to Dad and my friends Cynthia & LI at the Beijing airport, I was sad and a little teary, mostly because I was leaving so much of what & who I care about, but also happy to be headed to the other part of my life that I love and miss. I really feel torn between two places and two sets of people that have been so wonderful to me, and I ache being away from them equally. I’m not looking forward to July 2008 when I’ll have to walk away from China, from what has become a very special part of me.

With time I will adjust, maybe even forget some, but I really hope not. I hope. I hope to always remember. I know that all of my experiences in China have reached inside me and changed me in so many ways, and have brought out so much in me that I never knew I was capable of. I value all of the positive & not-so-positive times that I’ve had in my China life. I cry when I think about it now, how sad is that? Leaving China (possibly for good) is a whole year away! But if I don’t start thinking & planning now, I know it will be so much harder. It’s like an addiction I suppose (since I don’t have any)…like smoking, etc…cold turkey? or gradually weaning yourself away? I want to do the 1st option! I want to live, breathe and savor every second…I feel it would be an injustice to China & myself if I chose otherwise.